Monday, December 25, 2006

Bonenkai

Ah, Merry Christmas everyone. As I write this, my holiday is coming to an end as little kids all over America are peaking under the tree to see what Santa brought - just waiting until that magical hour mom and dad set when they are allowed to wake up to open presents.

Christmas alone in Japan wasn't hard at all. It doesn't feel like Christmas because it was sunny and fairly warm today. Warm enough that I didn't need a jacket. The kids weren't at school and all the teachers were in a pretty great mood. I spent the day looking over teaching material, having Yasko be my travel agent and studying Japanese. I came home and ran. I watched an absolutely gorgeous sunset while running. I have never witnessed such beautiful sunrises and sunsets as I do in Japan. The best present I received was being happy on Christmas while being so far from all my loved ones.

Last night, I went to Brock's apartment and we had a delicious Christmas dinner. It ended up being a really nice night of chatting between the two of us. Something I desperately needed as he was the first person I'd interacted with that has English as their first language in a week. I stayed pretty late and came home to open the presents people had sent me. (thanks, everyone!) By the way, I'm drinking some wine so if the end of this blog gets a bit sloppy, gomen nasai (I'm sorry).

This weekend was absolutely wonderful. I am probably going to write a book here - so prepare. In Japan, there are parties called bonenkai. This literally translates to Year End Party. I had two this weekend. The first one I went to was with one of my Junior High School's. We drove about 45 minutes to Matsushima. Bonenkai's consist of drinking, games and socializing. The first thing we did was eat dinner. They placed so much vegetarian food in front me - it was all delicious. While eating, we started drinking. We had our kampai which is basically a cheers to drinking together tonight.

After dinner we started the games. The first game that was played was called "top ten news". Basically, there is a hint up on a board and this hint is referring to a certain teacher in the school. For example, "what teacher had a baby? this teacher got something new this year, etc, etc. It was obviously a bit difficult since I couldn't read the hints and really didn't understand much of what was being said. I still got two correct - scoring points for my team. The teams were divided by grades - typically, I sit with the ninth grade teachers in the teacher's room - but they had me sitting with the 7th graders homeroom teachers. Probably because 2 of them speak pretty good English and there is a 3rd one that always tries to talk to me.

After that game, we moved onto the next game which is a beer taste test. One person per team is given 5 cups of beer and then you have to match the taste to the beer names. I was the one selected for my team. I go up - and actually have only tried 3 of the 5 beers. The other two I had never even heard of. I ended up only getting one right. If only they had keystone light, molsons, labatt blues and saranac for the options!

Some more socializing and then we move on to the next game. This one was quite funny. The first team went up and were given tomato juice. In ONE of the cups of tomato juice was tabasco sauce. Each member tried and then each team that wasn't trying had to try to guess which person drank the tobasco sauce. My team had a lot of salt in a coffee. Thankfully, I didn't get it - but poor Mitsue did. Another team had like donuts kind of - and inside one of the donuts was mustard. Nasty, haha.

The last game that was played was gestures. Gestures is nothing more than charades. Since, I don't know the first thing about Japanese pop culture - I was pretty bad at the game - but it was funny watching my co-workers act out some silly things. Some more drinking and then the game and food part of the evening ended. We all went up to our respective rooms. I was sharing a room with 3 teachers that speak English and one teacher that speaks no English (she teaches Japanese, actually). I walked around with Keiko Sensei who is the history teacher at my school (she's the one that tries to speak to me in English - she rocks). We bought ice cream for everyone and came back up to the room and shared it. After that, we joined the other 3 women that were in the room next door. The men were all in the room across the way - they were all smoking and playing mahjong which is a Chinese game. I don't understand it at all - I watched it for a few minutes while really drunk and only confused myself more. I wished that the men and women would have mingled because there was one teacher that is 25 that actually looks pretty damn cute when he's not in his suit & tie teaching Science to a bunch of middle schoolers.

We went to bed at 2 - and they told me that we were waking up at 6am. I thought it was a joke - but it wasn't too far from the truth. 7am was our rising time - and man was I tired. I woke up to Mitsue and Keiko chatting. I went over to sit with Mitsue - where we drew open the shades. There before my eyes was Japan's rated third most beautiful site. My bonenkai was in Matsushima - which I tried to see in August but it was so cloudy I didn't see anything. This area is famous for numerous pine covered islands. I posted this back in August when I tried seeing it for the first time - but I will post again for the newcomer readers and to refresh everyone's memory...
According to my Lonely Planet guide, “Matsushima Bay features around 250 islands covered in pines that have been moulded by wind and rock formations that have been misshapen by the ceaseless slapping of waves, resulting in uncanny monuments to natural forces. This conglomeration is one of Japan's Nihon Sankei (Three Great Sights).”

We opened our blinds and bammo! there was the pine covered islands right before my eyes with the sunrising over them. Basically, I was pretty damn speechless and thinking to myself this is what life is all about - how awesome is this. Sorry for my lack of great words here - but it was ineffable to wake up, a bit hungover, brain fried from speaking so much Japanese and trying to understand others - and to have that right in front of me unexpectedly.

Following that - we all went downstairs to a Japanese breakfast. All I really desired was a bunch of cereal - but of course, only Japanese breakfast - which usually I like but it's still very unappetizing to me after a night of drinking. Over breakfast, I discussed with Keiko and Mitsue about history (Keiko is a history teacher, afterall). We were discussing about how history is basically written by historians and winners of wars. This stemmed from a discussion I tried bringing up the night prior with all the women.

I am trying to discuss Japanese news with the people here - both to show I know what is going on around here and next for their opinions. According to CNN.com, the Japanese government is trying to enact a few things that are controversial universally. Basically, they want to implement nationalism into the schools and make an amendment to the constitution - allowing them to have an army. In a nutshell, create nationalism to entice people to join their new army. To see the article go here. The controversy is that is will bring back a mindset that is pre-WW2, etc, etc. All I really think is this will make my job even more difficult in convincing students that they need English. However, with international controversy I am really interested in what Japanese people and even moreso - teachers think about this new development.

They all agreed with the government that Japanese people should be more nationalistic. I asked why and they gave an example that I thought was pretty poor. They basically said that during the summer olympics - Japanese people weren't cheering for Japan and people in America cheer for our country. In my opinion; I told them that I feel people in Japan are more proud of Japan than people in America. I also told them that I am speaking for people my age. I don't think most people my age are very nationalistic. At least in the North and the college I attended.

So - the next morning we discussed history. I don't remember exactly the conversation but a few things stuck out. Keiko told me that her professors at college told them that if they really wanted to know the truth about WW2 they need to go to America to study. (by the way, Japanese people call WW2 the Pacific War and they call our civil war The American north/south war.) I thought that was interesting. We finished our food and discussion and went back upstairs to pack. Got back downstairs and met the other women teachers for some coffee and cake (at like 10am, no less). Another conversation ensued - but my brain was a bit fried from all the Japanese and was more or less zoned out for it. The drive home was pretty fun - we discussed the different noises that we make. For example, when a radar detector goes off, in English we say beep beep but in Japanese they say pi pi pi. English is tickle, tickle, tickle and Japanese to tickle someone is kocho, kocho, kocho. We discussed the scariness of Japanese roads - and took me up one of the scariest roads ever. It was hardly a road - barely wide enough for one car - yet, it was a two way road. Thankfully, I didn't have to experience another car coming to see what happens when that does occur. I kept saying why? why? why? why is there a road this silly? Of course, there was a logical explanation - apparently a few years ago, some natural disaster that caused major flooding ( I didn't know whatever Japanese word it was to let you know what kind of natural disaster it actually was). After that, they built this really high up, narrow road so that people could drive out of my town if needed. Of course, everyone would only need one road out and no one would actually trying to go into a flooding city. It turns out- there was actually some reason for such a crazy road.

I got home - took care of some stuff around the house and prepared for Bonenkai #2. This bonenkai was with Yumie and her friends. Yumie picked me up around 3:30 where we headed to Nango town for this bonenkai. We chatted the whole way there -as I hadnt' seen her in a week and a half. She told me we were meeting two of the fellow party goers at the grocery store to buy some ingredients for the dinner. I asked her who was coming and she told me us, one other girl and 6 boys - between the ages of 23 and 32. My stomache churned; I almost felt like I was going to have to give a speech in Japanese in front of 100 people while standing there naked - why I got so nervous about meeting people my age -I don't know, perhaps because...Japanese boys my age - how exciting!

We pull into the parking lot of the grocery store and Yumie pointed out someone - she said there's one of them! Standing before my eyes is a 6'2" Japanese guy with bleached hair wearing pretty trendy clothes. How wonderful! I introduce myself in Japanese - and learn that his name is Toshi. Then, as I'm introducing myself to him, the second guy comes. I do the same intro and learn that this 6' man - probably 30, really cute and polite is named Yoshinori. We go into the grocery store - and do our shopping. We were making nabe tonight. This was my first time having it and so I kind of just followed them around because I didn't know what the heck goes in it. In the store, I realize that Yoshinori san speaks decent English and Toshi doesn't speak too much. Both went to America for farm training about 7 years ago. Yoshinori grows Japan-famous tomatos. Famous because they are so sweet they are practically a fruit.

One funny story from the grocery store...
Toshi showed me something and asked me if I knew what it was. I told him I didn't and asked what it was. He didn't know how to explain in English and I didn't understand any of the Japanese words he was using. We used Yumie's dictionary where the dictionary spitted back that there was no translatable (is that word?) way to show it to me in English. He put in another word and what came back to me was slime. I said, you eat that??? He said yes. I started laughing hysterically. I said there is no way that you eat that. He said, we do! I explained to him that snails and slugs - when they move - leave a trail of slime. Both Toshi and Yoshi were laughing at that. I love lost in translation words.

We went to where this bonenkai was going to be. We were having this one at a really cute cottage place! We started dinner and while cooking the rest of everyone showed up. I first met Chiaki, a 23 year old girl who didn't speak much English - but really cute - she did her training in Germany. Then, Katsu and Taruko - two boys 25 years old - punkish and not too interested in talking to me. Then, Michi and another guy - that were friendly but really into discussion with eachother. Toshi & Yoshi continued to talk to me. All but Katsu and Chiaki had spent atleast a year in America for farmers training. So - some had good enough English to substitute English words into Japanese sentences as I needed. The last thing I wanted was for Yumie to play my translator all night.

Nabe was really delicious. It's a type of soup - that has all sorts of different mushrooms (Japan has so many different types of mushrooms - it is a vegetarians heaven!), mochi - tofu and chinese cabbage. I am lucky in that Yumie is super cool and is actually semi - vegetarian herself. She doesn't eat meat but does still consume fish. Therefore, there were two pots - one had beef and the other was vegetarian. Along with the the nabe - we had onigiri which I usually eat daily, some sukemono (Japanese pickle made with a Daikon I provided). We also had some sarada (salad).

The night was really fun - in that I spoke with Toshi, Yoshi and Michi a lot. Yoshi continued to tell me how cute I was. I was flattered and confused at the same time. I loved the attention because I don't ever meet a Japanese man brave enough to tell a foreigner something like that. While - I am sure it was the beer speaking - I was still eating it up - but remaining very postured at best. He calls me Sara - chan.

Let me explain this a bit to you. In Japan - you always attach something to someone's name. So, generally speaking - you attach the word san. So - a friend - is name + san. Someone with a higher rank receives the appropriate title with the rank. So a teacher is a high rank - therefore, sara sensei or Yasko sensei in place of the san. A college professor receives kyoju - a male can also receive kun. But - chan, chan is for children. I call my elementary school students name + chan . My female middle school students receive name + chan. For Yoshi to be calling me Sara Chan I was a litte bit insulted. I ignored it and for a little bit thought it was kind of cute. But then when he was telling me I am pretty and referring to me as a child - I didn't like it so much. Perhaps, since I he is probably like 8 years older than me - perhaps, that is why I receive the chan - I am not fully sure.

Some more chatting and then Yumie asked me to try these chips. They were Natto flavored. Natto is quite possibly the most foul smelling and nasty tasting food available in Japan. I told them this - after trying a chip. I told them the chip didn't taste too bad but it smelled bad. I didn't know how to say in Japanese that it "smells bad" I am contemplating how to say it and out of nowhere - taruko - the boy who didnt' talk to me one bit the entire time - says "it smells like shit!" . I looked at him - shocked and started dying laughing. I then tried explaining that I hadn't talked natural English with anyone in a week - and for me to hear that phrase is just so funny.

I turned my attention to him - where I said - you know English - people that speak really good English don't even know how to use that metaphor. He said, I don't understand you. I said to him, you're such a liar. In return, he said, I am such a fucking liar! I laughed even harder. I was pretty drunk at this point - but for the rest of the night - we chatted - Japanese but testing his English abilities. This guy was really awesome. He surfs, snowboards, and skateboards in Japan. He dances, he had an awesome personality. We discussed so many things - music, interests, etc. He lived in Washington, California, and Oregon for his farm training. His English slang was so amazing - I asked him exactly, what kind of people he hung out with while in America. His response was mostly - skateboarders - but that he spent most of his time with Americans and not hanging with Japanese people. I totally wanted him. I gave him my phone number - and please, for my sake, pray to whatever God there is that he will call me.

At this point, I was getting really sleepy. I went upstairs around 2 to sleep. I woke back up around 4 and went back downstairs. The only ones left awake was Yumie, Toshi and Yoshi. Quickly, Yoshi went upstairs to sleep. It was just Yumie and Toshi and I. We discussed alot of different things - I was asking a lot about cultural questions. Mainly, why are Japanese men afraid of western women, what's the deal with hugs. Toshi - who to this point barely spoke any English - was drunk enough to try speaking English to me - which was good because at this point my brain was done with trying to speak Japanese.

Interestingly enough, Toshi said Japanese men that have no international experience, are in fact, scared of me (as a foreign woman) since Japanese women are so quiet and shy - and western women are so forward and aggressive. I asked about hugs. You will never see hugs (unless in a big city) being exchanged in Japan. I told them I missed hugs and that I was probably the biggest hugger on my college campus. I told them while I miss hugs - I have become accustomed to no physical interaction and don't know how I will receive it when I get home.

Yumie and Toshi told me that if you were to hug - it basically means that you want to have sex with that person you hugged. So - if you hug in public - people automatically assume you are promiscuous. If you hug a guy at a bar - it means you want to go home with him. They said it's so strict to the point - if Toshi hugged Yumie in front of her parents - her parents would assume they are sleeping together. I showed Toshi and Yumie - how normal a hug is in America - literally - since I am so small - I throw myself up onto guys and just hug them. I used Toshi as an example (and explained to him ahead of time, i'm sorry if I offend you - but you are my example) and jumped up onto his 6'2" body and hugged him. It was a good conversation.

The next thing we discussed was swear words. There are no swear words in Japanese. Nothing to the extend of what we have in English. We discussed things like fuck, shit, ass, damn - how fuck is the worst and damn is probably the most soft swear word. I told them how I am sometimes surprised when people say "oh my god!". They say it to use the phrase - but I said it shouldn't be taught at the schools (because it is taught). I explained that while I am not religious and it doesn't offend me in anyways - it would offend many people in America that are religious. Yumie, told me much to my surprise about her experience in Hawaii. She was there - at a farming school - and her farm boss used to always say to them - "you fucking bitches". I asked why he would say that to them - and she said he would say it to them when they made mistakes. I was shocked - like almost pissed at this man that would degrade these women - just because he can in that manner. She said she didn't care and neither did her co-workers because swear words aren't harmful to them - but to me, that man knew what he was saying - and I am sure he would have said the same thing to American women that would take offense and be belittled by his words. It made me soooooooooo mad. Toshi said the same thing - that if someone were to swear at him - he wouldn't even care - since there is no translation into Japanese - it is barely an insult to him.

We went to bed around 6:30. I woke back up at 8 to Yoshi and Toshi talking. I went downstairs where mostly everyone was awake. I went down - and people were talkin to me - in Japanese - but forget it. After a week straight of only Japanese, and the past two nights being absolutely wasted and getting like 4 hours of sleep - I couldn't process. My morning was me being really quiet and quite useless because I was so tired. I wanted to interact with my slang crush but I could barely do that. We had breakfast, cleaned, packed and headed on our ways. I tried making eyes with my 25 year old rice and flower farmer as a last hope that he will call me.

Yumie and I drove back to Monou and I tried expressing my gratitude to her for taking me and that I really love all of her friends. We came back to my house where we came inside because I wanted to give her a small gift of gratitude. I burned her 6 CDs of music that we have talked about in the past - stuff that she had not heard but that I love. She also had a small present for me - two books of writing two of the Japanese syllabaries and candles. The books were really sentimental to me. My first time meeting her and her family - her dad was helping me write one of the Japanese syllabaries called hiragana. I can read Hiragana but struggle with writing it. The other book was of Katakana - which is the another syllabary - in which I haven't bothered to learn altogether. I have semi tried - but they all seem to look the same to me. The reason why she bought them though - was because her dad was helping me write when last at her house. She told me she went to a store to find them - and couldn't find them - but then asked the cashier - he showed her where to look. Yumie explained this to me laughing - she was looking in the elementary level part but - the cashier brought her to the 3 and 4 year old section. The candles are bamboo and really cute.

We made plans to have dinner at her house later this week. Yumie, even though only hanging out 3 times together and conversing via e-mail - has become one of my favorite Japanese women. I had two lovely bonenkai's this weekend. I had a week of speaking more Japanese than English. I got my score back from my first Japanese language test I took - I received a 92%. Things are feeling really good right now. I leave for Korea Thursday night. I am taking the bullet train to Tokyo - spending the night in a hostel. I am e-mailing a guy I met in Tokyo my last time there - to see if he wants to go to the bar together. The next day, get to the airport and fly to Korea for the New Years. I am staying with my friend Corey - whom, I met in Australia. I anticipate it being heaps of fun.

So, if I don't post prior to New Years Eve - I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas - or holiday whichever one you celebrate and have a great New Years. I hope I receive a call from a cute Japanese boy in the next few days =)

Festivus for the rest of us.

If you read this much - thanks!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

i finally finished!!! this was a very interesting blog, with the history and cultural differences, LOVED IT!! i'll be sure to give you a big.. no HUGE hug when i see you in a few weeks!! HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE!! MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!