almost 23

im almost 23. i remember when i was a kid I thought kids in high school had all the answers. im 23 and think when will i know the answers? I feel like even though I've entered the real world - I really havent. but i have. I mean I'm in japan - I have my own health insurance, car insurance, car, house, monthly bills and expenses, I clean (or rather, don't clean) my own house, I do as I please. I am an adult. but, I still feel like I'not on my own two feet. everywhere I turn, I am constantly reaching out to others for help here.

I'm almost 23. recently, that feeling that I dont want to grow old by myself is creeping up on me. goodness, I'm ONLY 23. why are these thoughts in my head? before Japan, I had found love - a love I never actually believed existed. but that opportunity has left since I'm here and he's there. but my awesome uncle once said to me that this world is a large place and meant to be traveled and if possible - it'd be awesome to share the world with another person.

I'almost 23. I'm not going to accept a person in my life that is only mediocre. but I want to share this travel bug i have with someone else. tonight I was talking to my awesome mom - and already telling her of my after japan plans. I surely am not ready to leave Japan because as much as ive experienced - i havent experienced it enough. i do think i'll be here for three years. but, already i am thinking of how I will do the peacecorp or maybe teachforamerica or maybe work on a cruise ship when i am done here. i want to see it all, i want to do it all, but want to do it fullheartedly. i dont want to just go to england for 3 days - if im goin to England I want to live there. thats how I am and thats how I work.

im almost 23. i cant wait for halloween. i find so much that when im teaching i wish i was sitting in the seat someone telling me what to do and what to think. sometimes i dont want to think for myself. sometimes i wish i didnt have to teach myself this language that i had a structured class like these kids. when the kids are acting like jerks i think to myself how lucky you are that i am teaching you. i would give anything to be in a structred class to leran your language.

im almost 23 and im proud of myself. i have these horrible classes as ive mentioned. im taking control. my co-teacher has let me get up there and do what I need to do. im up there and lmost shocked at how natural it has become for me to be in control. i dindt go to college for teaching but man i think i am doing a good job. i am up there wishing my friends and family from home could see me in action. i think theyd be shocked at how i control the class.

im almost 23 and i feel like no one knows me. my friends from home dont know the sara in japan and my friends in japan dont know the pre japan sara. i can only talk about what i was like and i can only tlell people from home about my experiences. i cant wait until my friends in japan know the sara that has become sara here and that my past experiences arent as prevalent in my life as they are now.

im almost 23 and im in japan. i cant complain.